How to Win Friends & Influence People – SSB & Life Lessons from Dale Carnegie

Fresh SSB batches starts 1st & 15th of every month. Referred articles were published in The Hindu.

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you." 

This timeless book teaches the art of human connection — how to deal with people, win their trust, and lead with empathy. These skills are crucial not just in interviews like SSB, but in everyday relationships and leadership roles.

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
   Criticism only puts people on the defensive. Encourage growth instead.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
   Everyone wants to feel valued. Recognition fuels relationships.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
   Show how your idea benefits them. People move when their interests are involved.

1. Become genuinely interested in other people
   Ask about their lives. Listen more, talk less.
2. Smile
   A simple smile builds trust and openness instantly.
3. Remember their name
   A person’s name is the sweetest sound to them.
4. Be a good listener
   Let others talk about themselves. It makes them feel heard and important.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
   Align your words with their goals, emotions, and context.
6. Make them feel important — and do it sincerely
   Acknowledge their worth without flattery.

1. Avoid arguments
   You can win an argument and still lose the person.
2. Show respect for their opinions
   Never say "you’re wrong."
3. If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and clearly
   Humility earns respect.
4. Begin in a friendly way
   A calm tone invites cooperation.
5. Get them to say "yes, yes" early
   Start with agreement to build momentum.
6. Let them do most of the talking
   People support what they help create.
7. Let them feel the idea is theirs
   People are more committed to their own ideas.
8. See things from their point of view
   Empathy creates influence.
9. Appeal to noble motives
   Everyone wants to act from integrity and values.
10. Dramatize your ideas
    Make your points vivid and compelling.

1. Start with praise and honest appreciation
   Begin with what they’re doing right.
2. Call attention to mistakes indirectly
   Use subtle cues and questions rather than blunt criticism.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing
   Makes it easier for them to accept feedback.
4. Ask questions instead of giving orders
   Encourages cooperation, not resistance.
5. Let them save face
   Never embarrass anyone.
6. Praise improvement, however small
   Progress builds momentum.
7. Give them a fine reputation to live up to
   Believe in their best version — they’ll try to match it.
8. Make the fault seem easy to correct
   Confidence leads to action.
9. Make them happy to do what you suggest
   Inspire rather than instruct.

• Communication is not about dominating — it’s about connecting.
• Leadership is not about commanding — it’s about inspiring.
• Influence comes from empathy, listening, and encouragement, not force.
• These are all signs of maturity, social effectiveness, and Officer Like Qualities (OLQs).